Jake’s pork chops
(now these are oven pork chops because this recipe is for cooking in my apartment that Sara also lives in and she seems to have something against a proper “pork chop haze” that you get when you grill them in a skillet)
Put on some music, I think Tom Waits is good pork chop music, or maybe Nick Cave. I don’t know man, what do you hear in your head when you think about pork chops?
Get out some kinda big pan, i don’t know, one of those clear Pyrex-y ones is what I usually use, and then coat it with some oil, i usually use coconut oil spray, cause I like how it smells, but you do you, ya know?
Lay the pork chops in the pan, evenly spaced apart (i don’t think i had to say that, but just in case)
Now put a bunch of junk on them, whatever you want. But if you wanna do it my style, here’s how I do: Dab little dots of sriracha, then grind some pepper and sprinkle on some bacon salt (you might be all like “Bacon salt on pork chops? that’s a bit much”, and if so, you sound like someone who needs to shut up)
Now rub them all into the pork chop with your finger and give a weird glaze, then flip them over and repeat the process. (wash yours hands immediately, because that stuff is no joke if you scratch your eye with it still on there)
Now you let it sit and soak up all that stuff, usually while you preheat the oven to 400 is good, i guess, i never really notice a difference, but then again our oven heats up crazy slow. (if you have cats, or a gross, dusty place, lay a paper towel over the pan or something. or don’t… i mean, how bad can it be?)
Now just wait for the oven, i guess. I don’t really have to write this part, but while I’m here I might as well. Maybe empty/load the dishwasher or something to make use of the time. I mean, you already got some jams playing, so it should be kinda fun (i switched to Juliette and the Licks at this point, i know that’s kind of a 180 from the tom waits i started with, but whatever man, pork chops don’t mind)
Okay, the oven is ready, so put them in. No, I didn’t forget to “brown the edges”, remember earlier, i said this is the no-skillet version. Who’s in charge here, anyway? Now, I think pork is safe to eat at 145 degrees, but I like mine at 160, so we’re gonna leave them in for 10 minutes and then check on them, and them keep checking on them until they’re 160 degrees.
Now that we have some time to wait again, i GUESS i’ll mention that Sara always says you should have like “sides” and “vegetables” with dinner instead of just eating pork until you’re full like a goddam warrior. So if you WANT to do it that way, i would make… i don’t know, peas? I like corn, maybe succotash if you got it.
Alright, they’re done, now you can eat them. Or whatever you had planned to do with them.